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Vendor
Fritz Agency
Christian Dittus
Original language
English

CRY, BABY

Benjamin Perry

Why Our Tears Matter

What happens when we cry--and when we don't?

One of our most private acts, weeping can forge connection. Tears may obscure our vision, but they can also bring great clarity. And in both literature and life, weeping often opens a door to transformation or even resurrection. But many of us have been taught to suppress our emotions and hide our tears. When writer Benjamin Perry realized he hadn't cried in more than ten years, he undertook an experiment: to cry every day. But he didn't anticipate how tears would bring him into deeper relationship with a world that's breaking.

Cry, Baby explores humans' rich legacy of weeping--and why some of us stopped. With the keen gaze of a journalist and the vulnerability of a good friend, Perry explores the great paradoxes of our tears. Why do we cry? In societies marked by racism, sexism, and homophobia, who is allowed to cry--and who isn't? And if weeping tells us something fundamental about who we are, what do our tears say? Exploring the vast history, literature, physiology, psychology, and spirituality of crying, we can recognize our deepest hopes and longings, how we connect to others, and the social forces bent on keeping us from mourning. When faced with the private and sometimes unspeakable sorrows of daily life, not to mention existential threats like climate change and systemic racism, we cry for the world in which we long to live. As we reclaim our crying as a central part of being human, we not only care for ourselves and relearn how to express our vulnerable emotions; we also prophetically reimagine the future. Ultimately, weeping can bring us closer to each other and to the world we desire and deserve.
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Published 2023-05-01 by Broadleaf Books

Comments

Perry investigates the human response to emotional and physical pain in this fascinating debut. Crying, the author suggests, "brings clarity, for through our tears we see what truly matters" and can help shape a better world. First, though, it needs to be better understood. Tears evolved partly as a means of communication, he writes, allowing infants to express basic needs and adults to seek help and soothe oneself. However, crying is generally socially frowned upon and tends to be seen as a sign of weakness or vulnerability, especially within masculine paradigms that curtail self-expression (to that end, Perry mentions pundits' mockery of President Obama's tears during his 2012 speech about the Sandy Hook shooting). And while many are made uncomfortable by witnessing someone cry, "those tears grant tacit permission to everyone else to cry as well." Moreover, weeping with another person is an "opportunity to meet [them] where they are and discover common ground." As well, crying produces a heightened state of emotion, rendering the brain more receptive to new information, which is necessary, Perry writes, to awaken an apathetic society to often overlooked or conveniently ignored problems. Perry's survey is nuanced, and his vision of a more emotionally expressive society proves idealistic though not overly moralizing. Readers will find catharsis here." (Publishers Weekly)