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MODERN LOSS

Rebecca Soffer Gabrielle Birkner

Candid conversation about grief. Begginers welcome.

A conversation and examination of grief in the 21st century, inspired by the body of work on the authors' eponymous website, modernloss.com

Gabi Birkner was writing obituaries for a living when her father and stepmother were killed in a home invasion robbery. She is a journalist and writer who currently works at the Wall Street Journal and for ModernLoss.


Rebecca Soffer was a producer for The Colbert Report when her mother died in a car accident on her way home from visiting Rebecca. Her father died of a heart attack while on vacation four years later. She is an experienced television producer who currently works full-time at ModernLoss.


Rebecca and Gabi first met at a dinner party set up for six women, all in their late 20s/early 30s, who barely knew one another but had one critically important thing in common: they had all been recently forced to face life without one or both of their parents.


They approached the dinner hopeful to find a community that understood without their need to offer explanations. They were moving through their grief feeling alienated by the kinds of support available: clinical articles their googling had produced, well meaning, but not quite right support groups, and outdated books that made them feel like eye-rolling teenagers. But in their individual quests for comfort, they had all come to understand a deep and painful reality about grief in our modern world--it was shockingly difficult to find honest, relevant and in any way cathartic discussions about loss and how badly it sucked.


At that first dinner, as the group expelled a collective sigh of relief, the seeds of the Modern Loss community were sown. ModernLoss was launched in late 2013 and so deep was the void for what it offered that within hours of going live, an out-pouring of stories and support came crashing in.


Celebrated authors and new voices alike clamored to offer their stories and advice. The media took notice. The morning of the launch, Slate announced that two women were aiming to redefine how we talk about grief and within a month The New York Times took notice as well, featuring the online community on the front page of its Sunday Styles section. It seemed that in an age where we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where Sheryl Sandberg’s intimate post about the death of her husband goes viral within minutes leading to a national outpouring of support and sharing of stories, Modern Loss could (and already was) helping to change the contemporary discourse on grief.


The book will help people engage with grief and loss on their own terms.


Comprised of original essays and enriched by infographics, ModernLoss will be inclusive of many kinds of loss, as experienced by a highly diverse group of people. The book will look as good as it reads so that people won’t feel the need to hide it when friends come over.

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Published 2018-01-01 by HarperWave

Comments

Talking about loss can feel scary. This book isn’t. It’s about grieving deeply over the long term, and the reassurance that you’re far from broken because of it. These surprisingly funny and candid stories aren’t about death; they’re about life, and thriving in the face of loss.

“I am not sure how a book about grief could also be witty and entertaining, but Modern Loss accomplishes just that.” -- Mindy Kaling, writer for The Office and author of Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?


“Talking about loss can feel scary. This book isn’t. It’s about grieving deeply over the long term, and the reassurance that you’re far from broken because of it. These surprisingly funny and candid stories aren’t about death; they’re about life, and thriving in the face of loss.” -- Stephen Colbert


Modern Loss is a book about grieving and death that shimmers with life. In turn raw, searing, charming, witty and funny—Modern Loss is full of surprises and is definitely not your mother’s death and dying book.” -- Dave Isay, Founder, Storycorps


“Loss is devastating, but this frank and funny book makes it less isolating. I want to give it to everyone I know who is grieving, has grieved, or will grieve. In other words, I want to give it to everyone” -- Anna Sale, host of WNYC’s Death, Sex and Money


“I love this book! Humans spilling their feelings with so much humility, hope, and humor.” -- Nancy Lublin, Founder and CEO, Crisis Text Line


“Profound, irreverent, probing, and consoling, Modern Loss is the guide to grief I wish I’d had when my mother died at 55. Mourning a parent years earlier than my peers, I felt alone with my loss. This is the company I wish I’d kept in those first years; Soffer and Birkner have compiled a book that feels like sitting with your best friends over dinner and laughing and crying and connecting over the most profound experiences you can have.” -- Meghan O'Rourke, author of The Long Goodbye


“Finally, a book that fearlessly embraces grief and finds heretofore undiscovered areas of inspiration, humor and above all, light. Modern Loss is our collective Modern Gain.” -- Damon Lindelof, co-creator of Lost and The Leftovers


“Devastatingly poignant, Modern Loss took me to a safe place and allowed me to feel comforted by reading about something that I’ve always feared: death. Especially as I deal with aging parents, I found myself feeling some of my anguish dissipate as I was reminded of the universality of grieving. It allowed me to take a breath, and I needed to. We all do.” -- Lisa Ling, host and executive producer of CNN’s “This Is Life”


“A frank, often funny meditation on grief and death from the founders of the website Modern Loss. With essays from more than 40 contributors, the book is an important contribution to the national conversation about loss.” -- New York Post


“A very relatable and real book of personal essays written that cover almost every grief and loss topic and pulls no punches.” -- Strategist

Modern Loss is a book about grieving and death that shimmers with life. In turn raw, searing, charming, witty and funny—Modern Loss is full of surprises and is definitely not your mother’s death and dying book.