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Sebastian Ritscher
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PASSING JUDGMENT

Terri Apter

Praise and Blame in Everyday Life

Our obsession with praise and blame begins soon after birth. Totally dependent on others, with an impulse to form loving attachments to those who respond to us, we rapidly learn the value of others’ praise, and to fear the terrifying consequences of blame.
Though we outgrow an infant’s dependence, we retain an interest in others’ judgments of us, and we ourselves develop what Terri Apter calls a “judgment meter,” so that in the first milliseconds of perceiving a person we not only automatically process information but also form an opinion, positive or negative. Awareness that we live, day by day, in the constant company of our judgments, both subliminal and conscious, both positive and negative, and that we constantly monitor the judgments of others, particularly those directed towards us, will vastly improve our ability to learn about our own personal needs, goals and values, to manage our biases, to tolerate others’ views and to make sense of our most powerful and often confusing responses to ourselves and to others. Terri Apter is a writer, psychologist, and Fellow of Newnham College, Cambridge University. Her nine books include The Sister Knot and What Do You Want from Me? She lives in Cambridge, England.
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Published 2018-01-09 by W.W. Norton & Company, Inc. - New York (USA)

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Passing Judgment deserves heaps of praise. Terri Apter has drawn on contemporary neuroscience and the best of social psychology to illuminate how we are captive to judgments of others from our earliest days through our adult years. In lucid prose and with many examples drawn from her research, she offers the opportunity to reflect on our lives and suggests how we might make more responsible judgments of others. Everyone can learn something meaningful from this book.

Apter counsels that mindfulness and inward reflection can lessen the encumbrances of judgment. Thoughtful discourse on the workings of praise and blame that will be particularly helpful to readers sensitive to scrutiny.

Readers interested in psychological theory will be compelled by this book, as will all readers who just want to be better versions of themselves.

Passing Judgment achieves a remarkable balance of scholarly insight and readable anecdote. Not only does it perform a masterly diagnosis of the many ways in which our endless exchange of praise and blame in everyday life can reinforce or undermine social relationships, but it offers practical insights without ever preaching. It shows how scientific research based on behavioral observation can add real value to common sense.

Chinese (simpl.): Gingko ; Chinese (compl.): Azoth ; Korean: Dasan Publishers ; Slovenian: UMco

In her latest book, Terri Apter once again helps us to better understand ourselves and others.. She illuminates and explains an often ignored aspect of relationships, that which is informed by the judgments driven by both negative and positive evaluations, even in our smallest interpersonal exchanges.