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Mohrbooks Literary Agency
Sebastian Ritscher
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English
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RULES OF ESTRANGEMENT

Joshua Coleman

Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict

An exploration of the cultural reasons for the recent uptick in parental estrangement, along with guidance and understanding for parents looking to reestablish contact with their adult child.
The topic of parental estrangement is trending. Google lists over 890,000 estrangement-related sites and there has been a rise in the number of popular, academic, and professional articles emerging on the subject. So what exactly is parental estrangement and what can be done about it?

Parental estrangement is a new silent epidemic in family relationships, inflicting anguish between parents and their adult children. The reasons for estrangement are varied--a shift in today's psychotherapy, changes in parenting attitudes, economic insecurity, and a general perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth or autonomy. Whatever the cause, dealing with estrangement is no easy task. A rejection from the person you love and care about most can be the most disorienting and painful experience in a parent's life. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and has since given their relationship another chance, Dr. Joshua Coleman is well acquainted with that pain and uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions.

Dr. Coleman helps parents understand the behaviors of their adult child and offers a path forward without shame or regret. Estrangement occurs on a continuum from temporary and resolvable, to irresolvable and permanent, and it's difficult for parents to know whether their actions are having any positive effects. RULES OF ESTRANGEMENT gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible.

DR. JOSHUA COLEMAN is an author and psychologist in private practice, and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. His advice has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, Chicago Tribune, Newsweek and he's lectured at Harvard, The University of California at Berkeley, University of London, and the Cornell Weill Medical School. He is also the author of When Parents Hurt.
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Published 2021-03-02 by Harmony

Comments

Josh interviewed as expert / book mention Read more...

Why your adult child isn't talking to you (and what to do about it)... Read more...

Joshua Coleman offers clarity and insight for families dealing with the painful consequences of estrangement. His ability to integrate the science of relationships with warmth and wisdom based on 40 years of clinical experience makes this a highly compelling guide for families, health care professionals, and graduate programs.

Joshua Coleman has provided a beautifully written book that describes painful disruptions in relationships between parents and their adult children. His wise and authoritative strategies and specific tips will prove to be essential for both younger and older generations and for clinicians who attempt to foster hope and relationship repair.

With the authority and wisdom that comes from both a firm grounding in history, sociology, and, especially, clinical practice, Josh Coleman provides compassionate and useful advice to parents and their adult children who are trying to navigate the minefield of past family experience. His work with families is engaging, informative, exceedingly helpful.

I have, for many years, recommended people to go see Dr. Coleman, but until I read this book, I don't think I ever knew the extraordinary range of his gifts. Yes, there are many sad stories in this book - but there are also fantastic stories of reconciliation and personal renewal. It's inspirational.

Even as more adult children than ever before view their parents as friends rather than mere obligations, psychologists report seeing a wave of parents who have been rejected by their adult children. He explores the socioeconomic and cultural changes that inflate both our expectations and our disappointments in family life, offering calming advice on ways that estranged families can recover or move on.

Author's piece: A Shift in American Family Values Is Fueling Estrangement - Both parents and adult children often fail to recognize how profoundly the rules of family life have changed over the past half century. ... Read more...

UK / Commonw.: John Murray ; Russia: Eksmo

Josh interview as expert for Cover Story / book mention Read more...

Interview with Charles Dhigg on How To Walk Away From an Impossible Parent - Knowing when to mend fences, and when to move on. Read more...

Josh interviewed as expert / book mention Read more...

Coleman's comforting message will be healing for those trying to bury the hatchet. Read more...

Joshua Coleman shows how to navigate the challenges of estrangement with compassion and empathy, and offers adults, and their children, a path forward.

Josh interviewed as expert / book mention Read more...

A very thoughtful book filled with great wisdom and care. Over Dr. Coleman's years of practice as well as his own personal journey, he has developed a deep appreciation for how to help parents see their relationship with their children through the child's eyes. It is through that process of compassionate perspective taking that a healing conversation can begin.

Finally, here's a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike. Rules of Estrangement candidly addresses parental estrangement from every conceivable angle, steering readers away from shame and blame to a place of newfound understanding and empowerment. I've seen many parents and adult children grappling with these issues, and this is exactly the book they have all been waiting for. I will be recommending it widely.

Author's piece: Your will is about more than money and cutting your child out could backfire - Carefully consider your last message to your family so it doesn't leave a scar ... Read more...

Rules of Estrangement is a must-read guide for any parent in a troubled relationship with their adult child. But it is also so much morea sharp social and philosophical analysis of what it means to be part of a family in our strange cultural moment and a road map for parents everywhere to strengthen and future-proof their relationships with their children.