SILENT AGREEMENTS

Silent Agreements will help readers define the unspoken beliefs and expectations that might be causing dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and resentment in their relationships, giving them the tools to explore these agreements and work toward healthier communication with a partner, friend, boss, or family member.

If you have relationships, you've likely been part of silent agreements. Silent agreements are the arrangements you enter without discussion--scenarios between you and your partner, your kids, your friends, your boss, etc.--that you take for granted. They sound something like this, "I want to be more than friends with benefits, but I don't want to scare him away, so I won't tell him," or "The boss doesn't offer me a raise, and I won't ask for one." These agreements can hinder your relationships, remaining undiscussed because of guilt, feelings of obligation, aversion to conflict, and fear.

Clinical psychologists Linda, Sonia, and Michele will help you navigate these unspoken expectations and previously held beliefs and teach you how to bring these agreements out in the open. With chapters on sex, money, commitment, family, the workplace, and health, you'll learn how to approach conflict and discuss those land-mine topics before they do irreparable damage to your relationships.

LINDA D. ANDERSON, PhD, is a professor, organizational manager, clinician, and consulting psychologist. She earned a doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University and has been in private practice for over 25 years, helping adults, adolescents, and children transform their lives.

SONIA R. BANKS, PhD, has been a licensed practicing psychologist in New York and Virginia for over 18 years. She received a bachelor of art in psychology from Wellesley College, a master of human resource management from the New School for Social Research, and both a master of philosophy and a doctorate in clinical psychology from George Washington University. After working as chief learning officer at St. Paul's Baptist Church in Richmond, Virginia, Dr. Banks founded the innovation firm @PLAY, Inc.

MICHELE L. OWENS, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice in New York City with over 25 years of experience. She earned a bachelor of art in psychology and sociology from Case Western Reserve University and both a master and a doctorate in clinical psychology from the Derner Institute. She trains mental-health professionals and presents workshops on subjects that include relationship enhancement, self-care and stress reduction, effective communication, and living and working in a diverse world.