THE GIFT OF NOT BELONGING

The first book to explore the distinct personality style of the otrovert -- someone who lacks the communal impulse and does not fit in with any social group, regardless of its members -- and reveals all the advantages of being an otrovert and ways otroverts contribute to the world. In the tradition of Susan Cain's QUIET, THE GIFT OF NOT BELONGING gives a vocabulary to a facet of our personality that we haven't been able to name, and shows why this previously underappreciated and even stigmatized personality trait is actually be a positive force in our lives and in the world.

If you were the kid who never wanted to go to summer camp, if you prefer spending time with friends one-on-one than going to parties, if you would rather forgo your vacation than travel with a tour group, and if you often engage in acts of silent rebellion against group norms and traditions (everything from dress codes to team bonding rituals), you are very likely an otrovert. Most people are familiar with what it means to be an extrovert (literally: "one who faces outward") or introvert ("one who faces inward"): Otroverts face neither inward nor outward, says Dr. Rami Kaminski, who has been studying this personality style for over 30 years. Their natural orientation is the opposite of the direction everyone else is facing (otrovert literally means "facing a different direction"). Otroverts are not natural born joiners. While they enjoy deep and fulfilling one-on-one relationships, within groups they feel alienated, uncomfortable, and alone. Unlike introverts, who crave solitude and are easily drained by social interactions, otroverts can be quite gregarious and rarely tire from one-on-one socializing. Unlike loners, or people who have been marginalized based on their identity, otroverts are socially embraced and often popular - yet are unable to conform to how the group collectively thinks, or care about what the group collectively cares about. Nor do they want to. And therein lies the great gifts of being an otrovert. When you have no affinity for any particular group, your sense of self-worth is not conditioned on the group's approval. You are not obligated to endorse the collective position or point of view. You get to enjoy closeness and connection in individual relationships, while being exempt from the social contract that requires you to fulfill social needs over personal ones. And best of all, you know no other way to think other than to think for yourself. In a culture that puts a premium on joining, many otroverts have gone through life feeling misunderstood. THE GIFT OF NOT BELONGING urges otroverts to embrace their unique gifts and equips them with the knowledge and tools to thrive in a communal world. Dr. Rami Kaminski is a clinical psychologist, researcher, and the former founder/director of The Institute for Integrative Psychiatry in New York City. He has previously served as Medical Director for Operations and Commissioner Liaison to families at the NY State Office of Mental Health, and special advisor to the Commissioner of Mental Health in New York State. Dr. Kaminski has made several groundbreaking discoveries in brain research and is the recipient of many awards, including the Exemplary Psychiatrist Award from the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, the Physician of the Year award from the Mount Sinai Hospital in NY, and the "Charles E. Colt Excellence in Service" award. He gives numerous lectures in both the US and abroad, and recently founded the Otherness Institute to research and raise awareness about the ways in which otroverts see the world ( https://www.othernessinstitute.com/).