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WHAT DOESN'T KILL US MAKES US

Mike Mariani

Who We Become After Tragedy and Trauma

A cross between Far From the Tree and The Body Keeps the Score, WHAT DOESN'T KILL US MAKES US looks at how we build new identities following events that cleave life irrevocably into a before and after, drawing on individual stories, the lessons of neuroscience, literature, and religion, as well as the author's personal experience of loss and diagnosis with a chronic illness.
"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger," the saying goes. But does it really? Tracing the lives of six people who have experienced catastrophic, life-changing events, journalist Mike Mariani explores the nuances of what happens after one's life is cleaved into a before and after. If what doesn't kill us doesn't necessarily make us stronger, he asks, what does it make us? When his own life was transformed by the diagnosis of a chronic illness, Mariani turned inward, changing his active existence into a more pensive one. In this ambitious work of reporting, he uses his own experience, as well as the lessons of medicine, literature, mythology, and religion, to tell the stories of people living what he terms "afterlives." Their experiences range from a paralyzing car crash to a personality-altering traumatic brain injury to an accidental homicide that resulted in a sentence of life imprisonment. Their "afterlives," Mariani argues, have supercharged their identities, forcing them to narrow and deepen their focus to find their sense of purpose - whether through academia or religion or helping others - in identities that have been struck by tragedy and then dramatically reinvented. Delving into lives we rarely see in such detail - lives filled with struggle, loss, perseverance, and triumph - Mariani brings us to the darkest aspects of human existence, only to show us just how much we are capable of becoming. Since graduating with his MA in English literature, Mike Mariani has worked as a freelance journalist, writing feature articles for The New Yorker, The Atlantic, T: The New York Times Style Magazine, Newsweek, GQ, Vanity Fair, Mother Jones, The Nation, and The Atavist and essays for The Believer, Slate, The Los Angeles Review of Books, Pacific Standard, The Guardian, and Hazlitt. Some of the topics Mike has written about include the ethical quandary of expert witnesses in criminal cases involving mental illness, the opioid crisis and its impact on mortality rates, and the neuroscience of inequality. Mike currently resides in Northern California with his fiancée, where he enjoys hiking, road trips, and catching the latest indie dramas nobody's heard of.
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Published 2022-08-30 by Ballantine

Comments

These stories are rarely told: neither triumphs nor terminal catastrophes but complicated, stubborn, moving human struggles to forge a new self... This is nonfiction at its best, cracking open our usual ways of seeing, to reveal lives as they really are.

The stories told here - and Mike Mariani's fulsome journalistic gifts - offer a nuanced clarity to this language and a powerful reminder of how difficult, complicated, and wondrous it is to be alive. The title invokes tragedy and trauma. The stories encapsulate healing and renewal

A must-read for anyone hungry for a realistic, nuanced exploration of what it means to survive and be transformed by trauma or catastrophe... Mariani and the lives he chronicles demonstrate that purpose and meaning don't simply show up after a great loss; they are the products of grief, fortitude, and deep inner work.

Mariani is a writer who combines the traits of intelligence, humility, and compassion, which makes this a truly inspiring book. Once you see how hard someone will work to give purpose to their life, your own problems seem much less insurmountable.

These stories are rarely told: neither triumphs nor terminal catastrophes but complicated, stubborn, moving human struggles to forge a new self... This is nonfiction at its best, cracking open our usual ways of seeing, to reveal lives as they really are.

A heart-rending examination of surviving trauma... The author's superior storytelling abilities shine throughout and portray his subjects with compassion and nuance. The result captivates, offering a poignant exploration of how humans make meaning out of tragedy... Mariani concludes with penetrating wisdom on the nature of suffering, positing that whether tragedies make someone stronger is less important than how they shape one's identity. Read more...

Through intimate reportage, Mike Mariani offers a bold and intricate exploration of catastrophe as not just a transformative experience or a test case for resilience, but something that completely reinvents us: a reincarnation. A profound and rewarding read...brave and harrowing and wise and bursting with insight.

There is so much wisdom packed into these pages, all delivered with Mike Mariani's sparkling prose, keen observations, and deep empathy. What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us is a masterpiece... and a necessary salve for our troubled times.